I have to add this little tid-bit because although it may seem somewhat irrelevant, I actually think it'll make a world of difference for our students if they do attend Ivy League schools. Every time the girls and I have gone to dinner, it's been a learning experience and practice in and of itself. Someone may ask me what radhiccio is, or Mahi Mahi, or provolone, or bruschetta, or arugula, or a crimini mushroom, and so forth. I had to learn the hard way how to order and behave in an upscale restaurant and I truly think that our girls are so lucky to already have had a few experiences at home and here in Philly to go out to nice restaurants.
Charles arrives on Saturday and he's taking all of us out to Le Fin-Bec, which is run by renowned chef Georges Perrier, on Monday! It's going to be a mini-celebration because the girls' final paper is due that Monday. Susan, Cynthia, and Courtney are both excited but somewhat nervous about the dinner and restaurant. They've already asked me what they should wear. Maybe they're just trying to find a reason to buy something else when they return to the King of Prussia mall this Sunday!
I just wanted to add this as food for thought and to try to guide the program a bit next summer. Many of our students are having experiences that they've never had before but that many of us may take for granted, like going on a plane! More to come....
Patty
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Yes, be prepared for a yummy meal. I plan to acknowledge and recognize all the hard work that has taken place with the ILC students at UPENN. It will also be a good chance to visit with Bertha, June and Johnny. Hopefully, someone will come with a camera so we can send back pictures of the celebration.
Take care and I will see all of you soon.
Charles T. Ramsey
Patty⎯Good points one and all.
Many of us are never exposed to the wide variety of foods that may be commonplace elsewhere and sometimes our dining experiences at home are somewhat laid back. Personally, while at home, if the restaurant people won’t accept me in shorts, sandals and an aloha shirt then they don’t want my business. I understand, though, that there are times when the required attire may be a little fancier. Many of our kids, though, have never been exposed to such things.
I have a few relatives who think that dressing up is simply wearing a clean T-shirt over their baggies and saggies. Even though I know how to dress appropriately, I often tell people that they should notice the level of respect I’m showing them by the fact that I’m wearing shoes that cover my toes.
As we’ve seen at some of our dinners at the fancy restaurants that Charles selects, not only do some of our team members not know how to dress for occasions like that, many of them don’t even own “dress” clothes to wear even if they wanted to. For many of our young males, there’s never any reason to wear a suit and tie and since their bodies are still growing (as teenagers often do) it’s not worth the investment to them to buy a suit that won’t fit in 6 months (as opposed to some of us older gents who keep expanding out of our suits sideways after 6 months).
As we plan for future generations of ILC participants, we need to make sure they understand some of the basics of dressing properly when they dine with our sponsors and invited guests and that they know how to dress when they appear before city councils.
In particular, while we can never forget that these are still teenagers, we need to help them to understand that there comes a time when they need to not dress like teenagers. They sometimes need to transition themselves into young adults.
There’s never any shame to being ignorant about cultural or regional dishes but part of the growth experience is learning to keep an open mind and to ask questions. We can’t walk around with a closed mind about anything⎯especially food. I closed my own mind to certain foods many years back and have not been bold enough yet to amend my thinking. I’m sure that there’s some merit to cauliflower and eggplant or they wouldn’t sell so much of it. To me, though, both of those vegetables are too ugly for me to even consider putting in my mouth. Who knows what I might be missing out on?
Something else I hope we can impress on these young partners of ours is the need to be sociable when in groups with strangers⎯especially older people. Instead of grouping together at the dinner table or at a party, they need to make a point out of sitting and socializing with a different sector of the guests. When they’re at one of these functions with the sponsors, the alums or the professors, they need to jump right in and engage those people in conversations. They need to talk with them, listen to what they have to say and then weigh in with their own thoughts on the topic. These adults are all anxious to learn about our young team members but none of them want to have to pry a conversation out of them.
We can never lose sight of the fact that these team members are still young and looking for guidance so we need to provide it. Although it should be the role of their parents to provide this guidance, we also need to remember that some of these parents may not have been taught these skills themselves so how are they going to pass them on to their kids?
Wow! Very well said Don!! I do hope that we begin to consider some of these points with our future ILC generations, especially as we expand. And I absolutely agree with you about encouraging our students to be big enough "risk" takers to talk to the adults at many of our functions. However, I must admit, that just watching our girls here these past few weeks, I can tell that they've all gained a new sense of confidence, which I strongly believe will empower them to have the courage and talk to total strangers, even if those strangers are adults, and old!!!
Thanks for the insight.
Patty
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